I've just came home from a movie, a document called Invisible Children.
It was horrible.
Not that "horrible" you imagine when you know it's said about a movie, because it wasn't a movie, it was cruel life.
The document was about the war in Uganda, that lasts for more than 20 years. About children who get abducted and are forced to fight and kill, or they will be killed.

Sometimes, when I made kind of fun of it, i used to say that if there is a God, he has to be a sadist.
But damn, this is not fun. These are thousands of people dying and suffering.

You see, you have this one person. One day, he is depressed, he takes alcohol, drugs, he tries to commit a suicide. And now he is paralyzed, he can't move. Suddenly he doesn't want to die. So he prayes to God. Save me. Prove yourself to me.
And yeah, he will survive.
That sure is nice.
Happy Ending - he starts to believe in God, the power of his.
But that's one person.

One person, who, no matter how bad his situation was, decided to die by himself.
I am not trying to make it sound easy. I am sure it wasn't easy for him. It can never be, but...
There are thousands of people dying. Innocent people. Innocent children. And what about God? What is he doing? Looking after suiciders who suddenly change their mind?
Those people, people in Uganda, or wherever the war is, pray every day. They pray just for surviving. They pray for peace. For letting them live their own life.
They didn't want a war. They didn't want to fight. They just happened to be born in a bad place. In a bad world.

I know I shouldn't blame a God for this. And I am not. This is just people's fault. But still, what I couldn't understand, watching that movie...

How can those people believe in God? How can they think he will save them? You see your child die one day. Nobody helped him. No God. You child was suffering and he died. And you pray to God, to save another one of you kids?

I don't know... And that is just it.

Nobody knows.